Women cheat – period. Society at large does not wish to accept it – for how women could do that! However, basic logic and corollary of a man cheating would imply that women cheat too. Afterall, it takes two to tango. But the reasons are different. And contrary to popular belief – it is not because they fall in love.
Cheating or infidelity is a topic studied at length. People cheat and for various reasons. Some do it for love, some for money and some simply for sex. For men, cheating is largely associated with sex. It’s as simple as that. But when we talk about women cheating, unfortunately is considered as a ‘cry for help’.
For what woman would want to break her family? Unfortunately, it is not as simple as love or sex or even dhoka (betrayal) that leads to cheating but sometimes a simple emotion and sometimes a mix of all. Let us look at the various reasons why women cheat – and some, be warned, might surprise you.
3 Biggest Reasons Why Women Cheat
Sex
Forgive me for I have said the unholy truth, but the fact remains that more women cheat for sex that you would be willing to accept. Women too, like men, have a healthy libido and want it. But unlike men, they don’t want instant gratification or release. They want it done right and for many – the marriage fails them.
Many women in their late thirties contemplate cheating. Some might say that the number is quite high. And if it was a rough estimate, one might say more than half of the time it is because the marriage has ‘dried out’ or ‘bad sex’.
Sexual frustration is a fact and women also need to get it right. And when the partner disappoints, the thoughts of cheating creep in. Some follow on and others don’t but most think about it.
Validation for Her Looks
Women, like any human being, need attention and care and validation. It could be for her efforts but more often than not, it is for her appearance. Loving and appreciating one’s body and appearance is one thing but getting that attention and validation from your partner is another.
With marriages or long-term relationships, this is often the thing that goes missing. Comfortable with each other, the partners often forget to appreciate the physical attributes of the other person. And that often leads to the first cracks through which the fog of adulterous clouds creep in.
Nature has a strange bias. Women, unlike men, do not age well. Childbirth, perimenopause…everything is rigged to make a woman’s body change for the worse. The physical trauma it goes through every month does not help either. With all that, a woman feels a strong need to be desired.
One may gloss it over with deeper meaning and needs, but the fact remains – more often then not, a woman thinks of cheating because she needs to be reminded that she is ‘pretty’. Women do not want to be objectified but occasionally, they want to be the ‘object of someone’s desire’.
Loneliness
A woman, especially a married woman is seldom alone. She is often surrounded by tasks of a wife, a mother, a sister-in-law, a daughter in law and so on. However, as a woman she finds herself feeling increasingly lonely.
A devoted mother suddenly finds that her children do not need her as much anymore. A wife suddenly finds herself having her meals alone. A tired daughter-in-law finds herself ageing faster than people around her. And her emotional void often gives rise to a heightened sense of loneliness. She is not alone but she feels lonely.
Cheating, in these circumstances, is perhaps a more fundamental survival need than people wish to admit. Trapped in her own mind, a dalliance gives her a way to assert herself again.
While this is not limited to the gender and seen as a larger reason for infidelity at large, proportion of women cheating due to loneliness is higher.
Why Women DON’T Cheat
While as many women think about cheating as men do, the fact remains that a fewer women choose to follow through. For most, the reason is an underlying sense of loyalty towards the larger family.
Even when disillusioned by their partner, women choose not to cheat because of fear. It could be the fear of disturbing their family’s life or the fear of being caught. While the latter often gets trumped, it is the former which often stops women from ‘giving in’ to the thoughts or acting on them.
One small disclaimer – this is not a genealisation. Not everyone thinks about cheating. Some are too busy to cheat or too stressed.